Hello January 2022 ...

 

Well hello there 2022!

So another year has passed us by, just like that, in the blink of an eye, and here we are on 1st January 2022.

I don't know about you, but after last year, I initially found myself staring at the year ahead with fear, panic, worry and a huge sense of overwhelming-ness. I initially battled with thoughts and feelings of confusion, frustration and sadness that this year had come and would go just as quickly as the last, and I would have to face it and live it without my baby girl. Life is continuing; coming and going, as if she never existed. When all I want is to scream at everything to stop and for me to be with my baby girl forever. In that delivery room, holding - clinging onto her tiny, lifeless body, and nothing else ever happening to me again.

Those were the initial thoughts and feelings that I had.

But then I stopped myself. My Spirit cried out to God and I felt Him near instantly. He cradled me in His arms and dried my tears. Told me that He isn't finished with me yet and that He has a good future and plan for me. And because Summer is with Him, she will always be with me too. Doesn't matter that it isn't physically right now.

I opened my Bible App and the Verse of the Day was Isaiah 43 v 18-19:

How apt. How appropriate. How comforting. How promising.

Peace washed over me and I began to feel joy, comfort and hope.

My initial thoughts began to melt away and were replaced with more joy, more comfort and more hope. Leading to excitement, anticipation and awe.

God knew. He knows. I love that.

I know that I will still have the initial feelings I had earlier from time to time. But I am no longer afraid of them or overwhelmed by them because I know that overtime, as God continues to work in me and heal me, they will get less and less.

Although no one can ever know or comprehend why my baby had to die before she was even born, I know that God is still sovereign and that through all of this; He is showing me that He is God.

This year, 2022, is a year of healing, restoration, deliverance, love and hope for me, my family and my household. It is a year full of God's promises and fulfilment and I am expectant and hopeful for what's to come; the "good" and the "bad".

Happy New Year friends. I pray your year is full of peace, love, blessings and a touch of Summer. ☀️💖