Blogmas Day 16 ~ An Ode to Grief

 Since losing Summer, grief has hit our household so hard, neither of us experienced anything like it before. 

Grief is a powerful force, and is something that I have learned is now part of my life, and the walk with grief is going to be a lifelong journey. 

Many people are aware of and talk about the different stages of grief, but for me, these stages are only part of it, and they suggest that the grief comes to an end. 

I personally feel (and hope) that my grief over my loss of Summer never comes to an end. Why? Because grief is birthed out of love. 

I'm not saying grief has to be forever crying, wailing, in sorrow etc. Because, as I am learning, and as I will continue to, that is only part of it. And I know time is a healer. Over time, I will learn to control my response to grief, I will be able to accept and live with my grief, rather than it disappear. Because I will always love my daughter. ALWAYS. So I will always grieve for her. Though that will look different as time goes on. 

But that's what I want people to know. That it is okay to grieve. It is okay to live with grief. Because yes, grief may be ugly at times, but grief is birthed from love, and love is beautiful. I'd love it for people to come to know this. 

Here is a little poem I have written about Grief... 

An Ode to Grief

Grief,

my new companion,

my new lifelong friend,

It's okay that you're here

I never want you to end.

You are here because of love,

A way for me to feel close

To the little one,

Whom I will always love the most.

Sometimes it feels like

You have broken my brain

And often I feel like

You're making me insane

But you are here to stay

My new life long friend

You're welcome in my life

Because my love for my baby will never end. 

I will learn to live with you,

accept and honour you,

I will let myself feel you, 

I will not supress you. 

The healing that comes 

from giving in to you

Will make me stronger

As true love tends to do

So, Grief,

My valued companion,

My treasured, lifelong friend, 

You are welcome here,

Because, just like you,

my love for my Summer will never ever end.